Do you have a question about why you or your loved ones hold excess weight? Post your questions here.
– Derek
Blog
“IF YOU DON’T CHANGE YOUR MIND,
YOU CANNOT CHANGE YOUR WORLD”
YOU CANNOT CHANGE YOUR WORLD”
June Fagan
Dear Derek,
Thank you for speaking to me today. Most of my life I had control over my weight, I’m now 53 the weight started pouring on. I did emotionally eat through my divorce and after, then I found I had digestive issues, food allergies etc….The show today is making me look at a lot, it’s hard for me feeling blind to what it is I can’t seem to get a hold of, that blocks me from healing this issues and things around it. I don’t feel good about myself, and about being a healthy example for my students, and a my clients as I am also a Healing practitioner. I so appreciate your wisdom and insight on this. Much Love, June One of your students….:-)
Ariel
Hello Derek, Thanks for holding a show about this big topic! Listening to the show, I connected with the story about the 6 year old girl who thought she was fat. I, too, have felt that way since this age, even though looking back, I was perfectly normal! These feelings exploded in an eating disorder when I was 14 and continue to rock me back and forth between overeating/no exercise and restrictive eating/over-exercising. So, part of me knows that I am fine…it’s all in my head, but the other part is unrelenting, saying I’m a failure if I don’t look a certain way. So my question is where did this split come from and how does one reconcile these disparate parts? Thanks again and loving The Way! <3
Amalia Mayita
Hello Derek,
Incredible show today!
I have a family member who is working on loosing weight. All of his siblings have gained weight as they have gotten older and I see how badly he wants to shift but also has a lot of negative feelings about how he looks. How can I best support him without being pushy and allowing him to have his journey?
Thank you!!!
DerekOneill
Mayita,
In a situation where you have somebody else who’s trying to lose weight, the best thing to do is just tell them how lovely they are as a person, as an inner person, and build their confidence that way, and do understand that as we get older, whether we like it or not, if we continue to put 2,000 calories into a body that now (because of lack of movement) only requires 1,000, well then obviously you’re going to put on weight.
ross arnold
Hi derek hope your well.congrats on your huge success absolutely delighted for you. I was just wondering what would be the chances of booking a reiki session if you get some free time i think you were saying before that you dont do it much anymore but would really appreciate it. Looking forward to hearing from you take care.
DerekOneill
Ross, thanks very much, I now do energy sessions called Rising Star, and if you want to give us a ring we’ll see about getting you one of these sessions. Send an email request to consultations@derekoneill.com. Thanks.
Gail Swanson
Hello Derek,
Mostly I notice that when a loved one passes I always put on weight and since I lost two in a row I have gained more weight than I ever have. I can not seem to get a grip of it. Emotions are always the cause of my weight gain but the grief seems to really put me over the edge.
What can I do to move past this?
Thank You,
Gail Swanson
DerekOneill
Yes, obviously when we lose a loved one in our life we go on a roller coaster of emotions and it drags up all other unresolved issues that are in and around this, like abandonment, loss, anger, grief, and so our body does go into a self-protect mechanism, and in doing so actually begins to hold on weight in case you stop eating.
Anna
Hi Derek, Thank you for today’s episode on weight. I know from an early age I put on weight as a protective layering. I thinned out for a little while, then put the layers on again. Now I wish I had a zipper so that I could unzip and step out of this ‘fat suit.’ I am visiting beautiful Creacon Retreat Centre, and the other day I was walking up a hill and my heart started pounding so hard without even walking at a quick pace. It’s time for this weight to come off. What must I say to myself to convince that part of myself that is protecting me, to let go of this weight? How can I free myself and know that it is safe to come out of this protective shell? Thank you Derek, for continuing week after week to come in and open up new channels for healing in so many areas of my life. Wishing you all the best. Love, Anna
DerekOneill
This sounds to me like you need to get your aerobic energy and your fitness level up before you start to do too much exercise, i.e. pounding up the hill, and if you do that then you will find that the oxygen intake will increase, and of course when oxygen intakes increase, fat turns to energy and energy to give you more energy to do exercise.
Deborah
Hi Derek,
Listening to the show and looking into this for myself for so many years, I have no idea what the core issue is. I have everything you listed and some. I had depression era parents, a sibling that was merciless on me, broken heart, guilt. I remember feeling fat at 105 pounds at a very young age. This has been a life-long issue for me.
Thank you for taking the time to speak about it!!! I look forward to more shows on this. The “radio” show is a God-send to me. Thanks for that too.
DerekOneill
Yes, it sounds like the depression part may actually have caused your metabolism to slow down and so you need to become more active and much more positive in the way you’re talking about yourself and describing yourself to yourself and others.
Ilya
Hello Derek,
Thank you for The Way – its been an amazing tool for a happier life! As I was listening to the show I remembered that as a child I was always sick and after they took out my tonsils (in Russia it was a custom) I started gaining weight and its been a struggle ever since. It added to my judgement of my body. My Guru Ma Jaya used to say that I eat to forget and to make sure the love from a partner would be real. I would like to see the core issue and be strong in my motivation for change! Thank You!
DerekOneill
Ilya, yes, it sounds to me like as a child when you were sick and they took out your tonsils that you might have been maybe given something like ice cream in order because that’s the sort of thing they give for tonsils and in doing so you may have actually picked up what we call emotional eating or feeling happy when you eat type of syndrome and so you would need to re-visit that and look at it in order to clear it up.
Gaynelle Ihms
Great show on weight. Each call-in gave me more insight into my weight issues (majority of my life). Want to love myself so I can lose the weight. Don’t want to put energy into my story (abused as a child and teenager). Thanks for focusing on the topic of weight.
DerekOneill
Yes when we are hurt as children we are inclined then to use the reward and punishment of food in order to reward and punish ourselves, and in doing so can actually cause these weight issues in the later life.
Lisa
Hi Derek, I’m curious what you think about the weight issue in regards to spiritual growth. Today I did some intense inner work, and felt exhausted and ravenous after, so I ate a wonderful meal and went to bed! Common sense says I need exercise and discipline, yet my inner voice said this is what I needed. So much energy work requires us to replenish with food and rest… any advice on this (as the pounds add up)?
Thanks. So grateful for the incredible meditation last night in Ashland. Love and hugs, Lisa
DerekOneill
Lisa, basically if you are meditating and doing spiritual practice to a high level you find that you have access to much more energy and motivation, much more love and that, so just make sure that it’s meditation you’re doing and not contemplating just on negative stuff and in doing so becoming tired because you’re focused on negative rather than positive.
elaine
when i was six years old i (along with 2 others) walked home from school. as we passed an opened garage building we were engaged into conversation by an older man. he asked us if we wanted money for candy. we all did and so we went into the garage closer to the man who continued talking to us. he handed us the money and fondled us. i’m not sure if these two occurred simultaneously, but they both occurred. the 3 of us never spoke about this on our way home, but the next day we went the same way home and the same scenario repeated itself one last time. can this be the root cause of my weight issue. can you help me understand the unconscious dynamics here and how to overcome this pattern.
DerekOneill
Re: being fondled by the man and being given candy, yes again we’re into the reward, punishment, the confusion of being given the candy as a good girl, but there’s also the issue of returning the second time which means there may actually be an issue with love and love between you and your parents caught up within this whole system. And of course if you already knew the root cause as your saying here, you know it could just be the root cause if it was the root cause well then the weight would disappear so obviously it’s not but it’s in and around there.
Liz Dooley
Dear Derek, thanks for all your love and support in my life, is my weight something to do with doin healing work, or is it something to do with metabolism, my throid function is not showing up but I feel my body is not metabolizing the food properly, and also maybe not doing enough exercise, any suggestions what I could do to loose weight, as sometimes I cut down food intake and it does not move the weight….. I just want to be healthy and agile to do my service… thanks and wish you love, Liz…xx