The Difference Between Confidence and Arrogance

The Difference Between Confidence and Arrogance

Genuine self-confidence is about balance. In the quest to feel good about ourselves, at what point does over-confidence turn to feelings of superiority? Even if you may not openly admit to thinking you are better than someone else, what effect does this kind of belief have on the quality of life? Are people who seem “full of themselves” just overcompensating for their own lack of self-confidence? Or have they lost sight of the balance between strength and humility?

In the same way that confidence must come from within you and the way you feel about yourself – as opposed to how others see you – the idea that anyone is superior to anyone else is based on the external world. When you set yourself apart, and see your identity as being independent of outside forces, you can begin to live from a source of self-confidence that does not compare, analyze or complain. No matter how confident you think you may or may not be, if you don’t feel that you have a core foundation in terms of who you really are, you’ll never find a balance.

Though we may not think we have much in common with people who are either incredibly arrogant or, in the other extreme, completely debilitated by low self-esteem, it helps to look at where your confidence sits, from day-to-day. Do you experience the ups and downs of life without those events having much effect on how you feel about yourself and your potential, or does your confidence tend to bend, one way, then the other? Does an unkind word from someone knock you off your game? Does being given an advantage or perk in a particular situation cause you to feel a bit superior to others? These may be very subtle changes and shifts in your consciousness, but begin to create a script that you get used to living by.

You can’t become grounded and at peace with who you are – imperfect like everyone else – if you are not tethered to a source of “self.”

Arrogance always ends up backfiring. It is dependent on the act of looking down at others. If the arrogant person were truly confident, they wouldn’t be tied to this need. Confidence is being free from the ability to be built-up, or diminished, by someone else’s perceived failure or success. When you are confident, you are open to others. You’re not threatened by, or vulnerable to, whatever happens outside of yourself. There is usually anger and unhealthy desire behind arrogance, whereas tolerance and love springs from confidence. Love is tied to confidence. How can you give and receive love if you put up a wall of arrogance to the world? Self-confidence is key to the self-love you must have to love others.

Confidence

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