Why Do We Distrust Love?
Love is a natural state for humans and the universe. It is our fear that creates strife, distrust, unhappiness and, on the larger scale, world conflict. Unfortunately, people tend not to enjoy love. They distrust it, especially if it seems present all the time. Humanity is not wired to accept abundant love. So many people have been brought up around anger, envy, jealousy, bitterness, and very little love – this is the cult of fear.
Love is about trust and most importantly, self-trust. How can you trust anyone else if you don’t believe in yourself? So many people are scared to trust their feelings, their decisions and who they really are. The fear of judgment and rejection can dictate your life. Past hurt, betrayal, abandonment, and/or disappointments can be internalized, and then become a forecast for what you expect in your life. On the surface, remaining fearful, hanging out on the sidelines of love and connection is a self-protective gesture. Who would want to be hurt again? Of course, it makes perfect sense to react this way, but not practical sense if you want to move beyond painful incidents in your past. Once again, fear is trying to tell you something. Our hearts close when we are fearful.
Fear is often rooted in the subconscious, and is easily triggered by feelings that may have no connection with what is actually happening in the “here and now” in your life. When our personal history influences perception and objectivity, it is difficult to see the truth.
There is a Buddhist parable that is a great metaphor for how this plays out in our lives: One evening, a man walks into a shed and upon seeing a coiled snake in the corner, becomes fearful and runs out. The next day, when the shed is well lit, the man returns and realizes the snake was actually a rope. It was his illusion of reality that interpreted his view of what was before him. It was the darkness that veiled awareness and truth. Our thoughts are formed by the subconscious. We see what we want to see. When we shine a light on that snake, delusion is revealed. That’s when we can start to let go of fear, and move beyond it.
You have to be courageous to be vulnerable. People put up a false front of what they think is strength and deny that they are vulnerable. In truth, that’s a fear of being exposed, accessible and human. Life without vulnerability is limiting and isolating. Showing people your vulnerability can be an extraordinarily powerful experience.
Breathing exercises can not only focus your thoughts, but also provide a way to let your mind relax, along with relieving the physical tension that so often comes with fear. Find a quiet place to sit and place your hands on your lap, palms up. Close your eyes and breathe in for a count of five, and then out for another five beats. Now say this to yourself: “FEAR is truly False Evidence Appearing Real.” Repeat as many times as you need. You’ll soon begin to feel your perception of fear shift and change.
GET A GRIP SERIES
Is fear keeping you from living your life to its fullest? This little book delivers some big answers to help you understand and recognize fear, along with offering easy-to-follow techniques to stop it from standing in your way.
Fear: A Powerful Illusion, part of the GET A GRIP series, guides you towards greater insight of fear, the connection to aversion and attachment in our lives, and the extremely significant role of the subconscious. In these concise and powerful pages you’ll find beneficial observations on fear of love, failure, death and many other common fears and phobias. Learn how vulnerability can be a valuable feature in your life, and exactly what steps are most helpful to move on from past events and emotions that cause fear.
With a unique perspective and holistic approach, FEAR: A Powerful Illusion, will change your relationship to fear and influence the way you see the world. Once fear is put in its proper place, all of life’s incredible potential will be within reach.
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