How to Deal With Hurt
Do you want to be able to make decisions much more clearly?
How To Deal With Hurt explores how to feel much more confident in yourself, and realize the best type of help is self-help.
Before you read any more I’d like you to start off with some silent sitting. This gives you an opportunity to just calm yourself and to help you to be more at peace with yourself and the world. So make yourselves as comfortable as you can, take two or three deep breaths. And as you exhale on the third breath, close your eyes and just relax and let go. For the next while nobody wants anything…nobody’s looking for anything and nobody expects anything. Allow your mind to settle into that space of peace. It’s not very often that we allow ourselves this great time of peace, but it would be something that I would recommend that you find five or ten minutes of the day to allow yourself to have.
So when you get to a stage were you’ve hit the critical part of your own development, that’s when you need to go to an outside source for a period of time. That outside source is somebody who you can go to and say, you know, does this shirt fit? And know that they would say, “Well, actually it looks a bit tight.” And you’re not going to take that as some form of massive criticism. You’re going to say, “Great, I’ll just get a size larger and be more comfortable in my look.” That’s the simple process called going to a friend. If it’s a deeper issue, well then you need to go past a friend and to a professional i.e. a counselor, a therapist or something. But when you’re going to these people, you’re not going to be disempowered; you’re going to be empowered. And your mind will always let you know when that is happening as the conscious part of the mind that will always prove itself right.
There is also an exercise you can do to make it possible to watch the hurt, acknowledge it and let it go. The story I tell to show this exercise was when I once called a robber by a woman when I started in private practice. She called me a robber because I was charging her 60 Euros for a session, and that upset me. What I did was I cancelled all the appointments for that day and I made up my own case. I went, why did I feel that way? And I quieted my mind. I just sat there, and I said, what’s really going on here? So it’s about self-inquiry. What’s really going on? And that’s when I found out that when I was 6 or 7 I stole a packet of markers in school. Though her statement had fact behind it she gave me the idea to look at what part of me believed her statement. Because it’s a fallacy to think that hurt can be perpetrated upon you…it cannot. You can only accept hurt. What I mean is, in general, somebody talking nasty about you is not hurtful unless you accept it and then it becomes hurt. If you accept it, it’s because somewhere in your being you’re getting what we call the, “He’s right, she’s right” type of statement. So what we would need to do is sit with it and say, “Why did I get angry?”
We should always try to give ourselves something that costs nothing, and this is it. It’s costs nothing to sit still for some time every day. And when you want to get to the bottom of issues and problems in your life, to sit still, close your eyes, take a few moments, offer the question out, and then just sit still. And you’d be amazed how much wisdom is built within your own system that will give you the answers to questions that only you can answer. Because on very deep-grained issues, you will find that it will be only you that can answer those questions. You could just light a candle and just sit and watch the candle for five minutes, and you will find that your wellbeing will increase beyond words. So do take time out to do that.
Love, Love, Love
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