Bully, You Won’t Beat Me.
PRACTICAL TOOLS TO FIGHT AGAINST CHILDHOOD, WORKPLACE, & RELATIONSHIP BULLIES
My youth included being the target of bullying, and it changed my behavior by my reaction to it. There are very few people who have not experienced bullying at some point in their lives, including participating in bullying behavior themselves. The effects of bullying, for both the bully and the victim, can alter our true nature.
“When we can identify bullying, stand up to it, and set out to
change its dynamic, we can begin to heal individually and globally.”
When you are bullied, you begin to hold back your feelings, develop debilitating fears, or even become aggressive yourself. Bullying is a complicated mixture of abusive anger, resentment, lack of confidence and pain. When a bully acts out, there’s always more than meets the eye. If we look not just at the victim, but also at the bully with compassion, we gain insight and answers that can help everyone.
BULLYING: You Won’t Beat Me
My new book in the Get A Grip series looks at how bullying affect our lives, our communities and our world. In this book, I hope to provide you with an overview of how to identify bullying, give a look into what creates a bully, suggest strategies for dealing with bullying, and look at the role that your subconscious can play in changing the energy and effects of bullying.
Self-image and confidence can be shattered, and the ability to trust can be severely damaged, if you grow up with bullying – whether it is directed at you, or you see it happening in your family. As a result, you can develop a problem even knowing what is acceptable interaction and communication with others in your life. Many adults still suffer the effects of being bullied as a child or teen.
Any child can fall victim to a bully, so it is important to nurture what makes a child who they are, no matter what form that takes. When they set out with a sense of acceptance from their own family, a child or teen who faces bullying will at least have this to call upon within themselves. It cannot be stated enough; Accept your child for who they are.
It is often hard to tell whether your child is being bullied. Teens especially, may keep abuse under wraps from parents. We need to become sensitive to the signs of it in our children: a significant change of behavior, losing enthusiasm about something they enjoyed, depression, spending more time alone, signs of physical abuse, or when their enthusiasm and confidence start to slip. Bullying can take on many forms, one of which is cyberbullying, a whole chapter is devoted to this type of bullying alone. Children need the schools and their parents to stand up for them, when they don’t know how to stand up for themselves, and provide the help or outside counselling they may need.
What creates a bully? It may be learned behavior from parents who make derogatory remarks or gossip about people. Or possibly an adult who calls a child names, teasing, berating or manipulating them. Many children then go on to echo this behavior into adulthood, thereby continuing the bullying cycle.
As adults, in our work environment, we experience bullying when someone begins to harass, badger, tease, start rumors, or make unwelcomed advances towards us. That is an obvious sign, but it can also be more subtle, such as: threats, insults, cruel reprimands, comments or actions that make you feel uncomfortable, someone continually taking credit for your work, or always being ignored or overlooked. If your boss is the bully, they may threaten your employment if you stand up to them or report them to a superior. If you wallow in feeling bad, you are giving bullies what they want – control. Though you are the victim of the bullying, are you willing to look at what part you play in the dynamic?
Just as important as identifying workplace bullying, is resolving how to deal with the anger you feel around it so you can move forward. We can learn from the experience by asking ourselves: Did the bullying fit an old pattern of being ignored by superiors or parents? Do I have problems with authority? It might seem strange to hear this, but this negative situation can actually be one of the greatest gifts in your life, because it is going to give you an opportunity to look at the dynamics of bullying so you can identify it in others and in yourself. This gives you an opportunity to create positive change in your life, in how you relate to others, and how others relate to you.
There are many things to consider when you are a party in any way to bullying, just as there are many ways to move through it and overcome it, and its effects. The information contained in this book will help you look at all aspects of bullying and help you to move through and past it in a good way whether for yourself, or for your children. There is always hope when you start to stand up for yourself, and for your children, and say ‘you can’t beat me’.
Available in print and ebook format.